Are You Living or Are you Existing?
Written By: London Winters
In my opinion, our most significant accomplishments in life are all the mistakes (valleys) that we have made and will continue to make. Because after all, life is a journey. I can honestly say that the mistakes I made were valuable lessons, causing me to climb higher. My Aunt used to say, “there is nothing like bought sense.” Meaning you had to pay the price for making a wrong choice or decision. Some lessons will have to be repeated until we get them right. But don’t fret. Discipline yourself not to keep making the same mistakes, expecting a different outcome, because that would be insanity.
Know that courage is a rare gift, and one must not be afraid of it. If you are willing to be courageous, it’s yours for the taking. Many of us have it but are too terrified to use it. Some will find any excuse to stay on a job they despise, remain in a loveless relationship or marriage, make excuses for attracting the same type of relationships, and being miserable all because they lack courage. I had a co-worker once; I’ll call her Mrs. Carson. She had been married for 30 years, and she was filing for a divorce from her husband. I winced and felt terrible when she told me, but not knowing at that time, she had courage! Forget the naysayers. She’d become my hero. I could not understand how she could be married all those years and throw in the towel. She told me something that would catapult my young and naïve life. I didn’t know it yet. Mrs. Carson looked straight into my eyes and said, “Let me tell you something, young lady, it is better late than never. Do not ever stay married because of the title of being a wife, because of a mortgage, the kids, assets, or to save face.
Remember the time you can never get back but being free from misery is timeless”. She said it with such conviction. I shook inside. We can learn a great deal from other’s life experiences and our own if we are willing. It’s extraordinary when you have people in your life or come across people in life; that can give your life lessons free of charge.
Some of us can be loyal and faithful, not only to God but also to our spouse, kids, family, jobs, business, church, community, finances, etc. Then some are less interested in being loyal and faithful to anything or anybody. And it’s terrific, and others should respect their decision not to be trustworthy and faithful; it’s their prerogative. It’s fantastic to take courage by the reins and tell people; they are not interested in being married or being in a committed relationship.
My conclusion is that we all can mature and evolve in life. God gave us a beautiful mind, and we decide to use our mind, or someone will use it for us. Things that were important to us at 25 years old should not be essential to us at 50. There is no way we should still be in a one-way love relationship, or the mindset of I’m here because I am too old to start over; it’s convenient; I can’t do any better, or I know what I got, but I don’t know what I’m going to get mentality.
Live life wanting to evolve, mature, and experience life to the fullest. You remember to love with the best intentions and motives. Love enough to say, “I love you enough to let you go, and let you live your best life, and I live mine. If they do not have enough courage to move on, have enough courage for the both of you to walk away. We must understand just because a relationship doesn’t work out; it doesn’t mean that either person was terrible people; it only meant that they weren’t compatible.
“The time you can never get back but being free from misery is timeless.”
Are you living, or are you existing?
